Extending Grace and Forgiveness Even When It’s Hard

Extending Grace and Forgiveness Even When It’s Hard

Something God has been dealing with me quite a bit lately is forgiveness, and not just with others but also extending forgiveness to myself. The other things is realizing that I can continue to forgive,  but until I see the person as God sees them instead of the hurt they caused - I still have a ways to go in forgiveness.
I know I don't want to hold onto that unforgiveness and I am working towards the goal of letting go and seeing as God sees.

Forgiveness is one of the most challenging yet life-changing acts we can practice. It’s easy to talk about grace and forgiveness when everything is going smoothly, but when someone has wronged us deeply, extending that grace can feel impossible. Yet as followers of Christ, forgiveness is not optional—it is essential.

Why Forgiveness Feels So Hard

When we’ve been hurt, our natural instinct is to protect ourselves, seek justice, or even hold onto the pain as a reminder never to trust again. Forgiveness can feel like we are letting someone “off the hook.” But in reality, refusing to forgive keeps us hooked to the offense, carrying a weight we were never meant to bear.

God’s Example of Grace

Scripture reminds us that God has forgiven us far more than we could ever forgive another person. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Our forgiveness of others isn’t about whether they deserve it—it’s about reflecting the grace we have already received.

Jesus modeled this perfectly. On the cross, in His deepest pain, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). If He could extend forgiveness in that moment, then through His strength, we can also extend grace even when it feels impossible.

The Freedom in Forgiveness

Forgiveness does not mean condoning hurtful actions or allowing abuse. Instead, it is a release—a decision not to let bitterness poison our hearts. Forgiveness frees us more than it frees the one who hurt us. It creates space for healing, peace, and even restoration if the relationship allows it.

Practical Steps to Extend Grace

1. Pray honestly. Tell God how you feel and ask Him for the strength to forgive.

2. Remember God’s forgiveness. Reflect on the grace you’ve received.

3. Release the burden. Choose daily to let go, even if emotions still linger. Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event.

4. Set healthy boundaries. Forgiving does not mean tolerating repeated harm. Grace and wisdom work hand in hand.



A Final Thought

Extending grace when it’s hard is not about minimizing pain—it’s about maximizing love. Forgiveness may not change the past, but it can transform your heart and future. When we forgive, we walk in the footsteps of Jesus, who loved us at our worst and forgave us completely.

Prayer:
Lord, I admit that forgiving is hard for me. I want to hold on to my pain, but I know You call me to release it. Help me to forgive as You have forgiven me. Give me strength to extend grace, wisdom to set boundaries, and peace to move forward in love. And help me see them as you see them. Amen.

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